Have you ever lost 20 pounds in one month from stress? Have you ever completely changed your life? In this documentary about my journey of self-discovery, Margaret Seid, the film maker wanted to focus upon that little voice within all of us. The little voice that is, in fact, the voice of our higher consciousness or soul.

At the age of thirty I had a husband, a child, a career, and a beautiful home. By society’s standards I had everything that should make me happy, and for the most part I was, yet something seemed to be missing. I threw myself into cooking, creative projects and being a wife and mother. I certainly loved my child and husband, but a general malaise, an apathy, silently creeped into my consciousness. I could look ahead forty years and see exactly how my life would be. For some this might be comforting, yet it had the opposite effect on me. I couldn’t understand why I felt this way. What I didn’t know, is that my soul was about to pull the rug out from under me. My soul was getting ready to push me out of my comfort zone, on to the path of my destiny. My ego, represented by my mind believing I had it all, would soon succumb to my soul, represented by my heart. It was this battle between my head and heart, that caused the 20 lb weight loss and jumping into the void of life changing decisions. I went through a major spiritual initiation, that fork-in-the-road experience, that transformed who I was. I no longer looked to the outside world, its values and expectations, to make me happy. I began an inner exploration, which ultimately led to true fulfillment. During this time, I wrote the following explanation of what I was going through. I included it in my first book, CHANGES.

“Observation. There are some things that one cannot fully describe. Like the intuitional flash that something just isn’t right. Or conversely, that something or someone is very right. That is how this chapter in my life began.Whether or not I wanted to admit the truth, my intuition kept dropping hints. Then the subtle hints became louder and louder. Like a hammer pounding me on the head, to get my attention. Do something! Make a change!When I think back to this time, I realize it was very exciting. Time had brought me to a point, where real life began. When exquisite pain or pleasure make one’s senses reel, and a sleepy soul is shocked into bringing forth its individuality.Age does not necessarily make a soul wise. An untested soul, one that has not been forced to form its own evaluations, test its strength and weakness of character, has not learned to stand alone on its convictions. That soul has not grown wise with the passing of time, rather such a soul has rested lethargically, in a false sense of security. Relying on cultural traditions, and religious euphemisms, to keep the surface of one’s consciousness still.Let the waves of change crash down, let uncontrollable events intrude themselves, and impact your life in such a way that you are forced to question the ideas you embrace. Let the soul be forced to discover what is important, and necessary for true fulfillment.Let Humpty Dumpty fall. Let the shell that once served as protection for a fragile ego, encasing pride and prejudice, be smashed into a thousand pieces. Let Humpty Dumpty try to put himself back together. Yet try as he may, once certain ideas have been shattered, the old illusions won’t fit snugly together again.So, let this chapter begin, let the ego emerge to feel the conflict, and become disillusioned. Let it find its own path, learning to merge with its soul, and through this, light the way for those that follow.“